i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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