Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
