i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
