Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
