mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
not ubering you a puppy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
