My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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