Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You ate ashes out of my bong
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
