Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
