I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
