so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
