I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
