Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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