New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
