Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
