I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
