If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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