Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
