Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Randomize
