I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
