yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
