let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
