How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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