The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
