can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
