Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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