Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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