ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
