Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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