I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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