You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
