remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
