You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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