hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
