i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
