i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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