At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
