Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
