yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
