I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
