I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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