i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize