First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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