my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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