We're facebook friends in real life
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
