I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
