all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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