I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize