wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He better not be in your backpack
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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