okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
