And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
