I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
