At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
