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It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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