We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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