he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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