she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
