is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
