i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
