So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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