Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love accidental penises.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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