i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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