So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
