WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
