I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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