ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
