ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
