the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and she was petting her beer can
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
