I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
