I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
