maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
