marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When are your genitals available?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
