life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
