She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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