I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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