So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize