I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
